Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
