It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize