I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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