I think I won the penis lottery.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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