We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
