I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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