using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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