Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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