Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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