I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Drake has all the answers
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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