life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
