i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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