we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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