Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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