Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
