I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
