just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I wish i was in the wii world.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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