He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
