Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I checked into jail on foursquare
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
