I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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