Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
