I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
