he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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