i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
