discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
