I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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