So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
