We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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