I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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