Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize