You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
