dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
