what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
