oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
