We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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