just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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