I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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