She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
