Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
