Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize