He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
