youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
