So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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