We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
