every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
