The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
