am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
