I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
