Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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