you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
