If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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