he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
