he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
