I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Randomize
