she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
