i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
