no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
