I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize