ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
