Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
